Good afternoon all, for one of my classes, I had to to write a speech on a Nonconformist, and I chose Galileo Galilei. I was wondering what other members of WoN thought of my speech and whether you could rate it so I could see what else I could improve with it. Here it is:


Galileo was born in 1564 in Pisa, Italy. Galileo was a key player in the scientific revolution of the 17th century. He played a major role in development of philosophy, astronomy and methodology of science and had works that are still discussed today. He brought up philosophical thoughts of ‘What is truth?’ and ‘How is truth shown?’

Galileo was a devoted Catholic who went to Florence to study priesthood but was later convinced by his father to study medicine at the University of Pisa as it could lead to more profitable jobs. Eventually Galileo chose not to complete his degree in medicine and went to study math. In 1589, Galileo was appointed Chair of Mathematics in Pisa but later took up a position of head Mathematician of the University of Pudua due to the better pay. It was there, in Pudua, that Galileo married Marina Gamba and had three children.

In 1590, Galileo challenged Aristotle’s theories on matter and the relativity of weight in his paper ‘De Motu’. After this he spent 1600-1609 studying and learning about gravity. It was after this that Galileo designed a powerful telescope to which allowed him to prove and support the claim of there being heaven. While studying the sky for heaven, he said: ‘The Bible shows the way to go to heaven, not the way the heavens go’. It was these studies that led to the Roman Senate’s praise for his work.

If Galileo had stopped there, he would have lived a very happy and peaceful life, but chose not to. Soon after his appraisal by the Roman Senate, Galileo published the work ‘Dialogues Concerning the Two Great World Systems’ which was banned by the Inquisition due to some claims that were heretical. But this didn’t stop Galileo’s research into the planets and beyond. With his telescope, Galileo defended and popularized the Copernican system of planet which states that the Sun is the centre of the Solar System, compared to the way the Church taught from the Bible which stated the Earth was the centre of the Solar System and everything revolved around it.

Although some members of the Clergy supported Galileo and his observation that made the Copernican system accurate, most members of the clergy deemed him to be wrong. He wrote a paper soon after which was deemed heretical in 1616 and he was to stand trial. The paper, titled ‘The Ebb and Flow of the Tides’ spoke of how the tides changed with each revolution of the moon, proving the Copernican system. After a number of hearings, the Roman Court condemned Galileo as a heretic and was placed under house arrest. When he was condemned, Galileo said: ‘In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.’ Although the Church and Court had condemned him, they did it due to their authority but we’re ignorant to the facts and reasoning’s of a single man.

‘I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.’ This is what Galileo thought during his house arrest. Although he was going blind, in 1634, he completed a paper titled: ‘Discourses and Mathematical Demonstrations Concerning Two New Sciences.’ The paper was smuggled out of Italy to be published in Holland where it could not be banned by the Roman Inquisition. Unfortunately he died before it was completely published.

Galileo Galilei was a nonconformist like no-other. He made claims, which around his era were extremely dangerous areas to delve into. He taught against the Church’s teachings and beliefs, claimed the Bible to be inaccurate, stated that the Bible was for inspiration, not a scripture of facts and offended many people in order to be different and for freedom of the truth. He was a person that went against many societal norms of the time; he wanted science and religion to be one, for science to prove religion. But unless Galileo chose to not conform to the societal norms, we wouldn’t know all this, not know about space and being able to question it further.

Galileo Galilei was a nonconformist that made a positive effect on world we know today, he might have not taught us about everything in space, but he allowed us discover it. Like Galileo said and did:
‘We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves.’

Thank-you

"Galileo was born in 1564 in Pisa, Italy. Galileo was a key player in the scientific revolution of the 17th century."

Use He in the second sentence in the opening paragraph.

And one thing I noticed.. if this is a speech, you need some fluidity in it. While this might look good on paper, I really don't know how well this might turn up in practical speaking.

"Galileo was born in 1564 in Pisa, Italy. Galileo was a key player in the scientific revolution of the 17th century."

Use He in the second sentence in the opening paragraph.

And one thing I noticed.. if this is a speech, you need some fluidity in it. While this might look good on paper, I really don't know how well this might turn up in practical speaking.

Thanks Low, I'll change it on my actual speech.

There is a somewhat of a big problem on your text - although the vocabulary and grammar have no tangible problems, your sentences lack flow. You make use of several periods in succession, as one could see on the first paragraph. Compare the current form of your text with the one:

"Galileo was born in 1564 in Pisa, Italy, being a key player in the scientific revolution of the 17th century. He played a major role in development of philosophy, astronomy and methodology of science and had ideas that are still discussed today, such as the philosophical thoughts of ‘What is truth?’ and ‘How is truth shown?'"

Do you see how you give more continuity and cohesion to your text? Instead of breaking the paragraph into chunks, you make the ideas flow, creating a continuum thought that culminates with a "mini-conclusion". That style should be most likely preserved throughout the text, albeit some teachers might not correct the student's texts based on what I'm stating here.

I know, however, that I would. xD

There is a somewhat of a big problem on your text - although the vocabulary and grammar have no tangible problems, your sentences lack flow. You make use of several periods in succession, as one could see on the first paragraph. Compare the current form of your text with the one:

"Galileo was born in 1564 in Pisa, Italy, being a key player in the scientific revolution of the 17th century. He played a major role in development of philosophy, astronomy and methodology of science and had ideas that are still discussed today, such as the philosophical thoughts of ‘What is truth?’ and ‘How is truth shown?'"

Do you see how you give more continuity and cohesion to your text? Instead of breaking the paragraph into chunks, you make the ideas flow, creating a continuum thought that culminates with a "mini-conclusion". That style should be most likely preserved throughout the text, albeit some teachers might not correct the student's texts based on what I'm stating here.

I know, however, that I would. xD

While your example might not have been that adequate, I truly support what you said. Teachers will not correct, because they don't have enough grounds to correct a given text, without altering the basic format in which it is written.

There is a somewhat of a big problem on your text - although the vocabulary and grammar have no tangible problems, your sentences lack flow. You make use of several periods in succession, as one could see on the first paragraph. Compare the current form of your text with the one:

"Galileo was born in 1564 in Pisa, Italy, being a key player in the scientific revolution of the 17th century. He played a major role in development of philosophy, astronomy and methodology of science and had ideas that are still discussed today, such as the philosophical thoughts of ‘What is truth?’ and ‘How is truth shown?'"

Do you see how you give more continuity and cohesion to your text? Instead of breaking the paragraph into chunks, you make the ideas flow, creating a continuum thought that culminates with a "mini-conclusion". That style should be most likely preserved throughout the text, albeit some teachers might not correct the student's texts based on what I'm stating here.

I know, however, that I would. xD

Thanks Taylor, I'll try fix it up (not this copy, but my actual speech).