So, on the bus writing stuff for possible filler arc, and I get around to designing these Akuma monks, they're pretty nasty and I like the skillsets I made for them in my boredom, so I figured 'Hey, why not show everyone so they can do the hard work of balancing for me and then I convince the admins to put these characters into the game using my skillset, win for me^^'.

Then I remembered I have to actually convince admins to let me put this filler arc into the game in the first place, and time and effort means that'll take a while, so I may as well get that first stage of balance and so on out of the way, and who knows, could help my case.

So, we have the Akuma Order. They are a group of monks who are basically evil. Their focus is on stealing the spirits of their enemies in one way or another and using that to make themselves more powerful. The plan is that this is basically an entire clan of villians, and that there is only one good guy unlock in this filler arc, and then you unlock two of the bosses and the final bosses are market content. Dunno how that'll work but we'll see.

Also, cheers and such to lucas for enabling me to be lazy and not make energy icons myself.

--------------------------------


Akuma Order: An ancient order of monks who focus on the consumation of spirits to increase their power, as opposed to the Budou Order calming their own spirit to achieve enlightenment. They, like all other monk orders, have a single Grandmaster and the rest of the order fills various lesser ranks ranging from master down to initiate. Having discovered where it is that monks draw their supernatural powers from, the Akuma have developed techniques that appear more like ninja arts than monk disciplines. The current Grandmaster, Akuma Kiga, has heard rumours of a gate to the Spirit World existing in the nearby Seishin ruins, and is prepared to go to any length to see its power be his.

Akuma Oni (90HP Assassination):
Oni is a tall, dark eyed man in his mid twenties who has shaved his head bald in placed metal studs over his scalp. Dressed in the black and red torn robes of his order and with his nails sharpened into claws, Oni is a ferocious demon on the battlefield few willingly cross.

Demon Rend: Deals 10 damage to one enemy.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Melee, Instant

Demon Roar: Stuns one enemy. The following turn, damage dealt by Demon Rend is increased by 10, and melee damage dealt to Oni is increased by 10.
Cost:
CD: 2
Class: Mental, Aura

Demon Cannon: Deals 10 affliction damage and removes all Stolen Essence charges on Oni.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Mental, Instant

Stolen Essence: Every 10 damage Oni deals in one turn generates 1 Stolen Essence charge. Every 10 damage Oni receives in one turn generates 1 Stolen Essence charge. Stolen Essence charges increase the damage of Demon Cannon by 10.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Passive, Aura

-----------------------------

Akuma Hannya (HP 80 Disruption): Slender, blonde haired and pale skinned, wearing less damaged robes than her master, Hannya is recently turned 18 and desperate for the power to make her up in the Order. While she has yet to learn many of the more devastating powers, she focuses instead on stealing the essence from her foes and taking their advantages from them when they least expect it.

Siphoning Blow: Deals 15 damage and the target is affected by Sirene's Call for 4 turns.
Cost:
CD: 0
Classes: Melee, Aura

Extracting Strike: Deals 10 affliction damage to all enemies affected by Sirene's Call. Healing caused by Siren's Call is increased by 15 for 2 turns.
Cost:
CD: 2
Class: Tactic, Aura

Traitorous Gift: Heals all enemies by 10, and grants 1 Agility energy for each enemy healed affected by Sirene's Call.
Cost:
CD: 3
Classes: Tactic, Instant

Sirene's Call: When an enemy affected by Sirene's Call is healed, Hannya is healed for the same amount. This effect cannot take place if Hannya is stunned.
Cost:
CD: 0
Classes: Passive, Aura

------------------------------

Akuma Akumu (HP 130 Assassination): Akumu is the current Grandmaster of the Akuma and the strongest that has ever lived. While growing into his late fifties, he has sustained his body through the consumption of the spirits of the dead, allowing him to remain strong and healthy despite the scars that show wounds that should have been fatal. His skin is dark and painted with scars, and his eyes have long since lost colour and are now dead white. Of his Akuma robes, none remains but the lower half of his outfit, the upper half having been lost in battle decades ago.

Savage Cannon: Deals 20 damage to one enemy.
Cost:
CD: 2
Class: Ranged, Instant

Brutal Volley: Deals 15 affliction damage to one enemy, and stuns all other characters on the opponents team.
Cost:
CD: 5
Class: Mental, Channeling

Corpse Touch: Deals 35 damage to one enemy and heals Akumu for 35 health.
Cost:
CD: 5
Class: Melee, Instant

Eternal Hunger: Akuma gains 1 Eternal Hunger charge and 1 Intelligence energy when a character is killed. Akuma Each Eternal Hunger charge increases damage dealt by Akuma by 5 and reduces his cooldowns by 1 permanently. Every 2 charges melee and ranged damage dealt to Akuma is reduced by 10.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Passive, Aura

---------------------------------

Warlord Mamoru (HP: 100 Assassination): Dressed in what remains his old Shogun Military outfit, though it has been worn by age and lack of repairs considerably, Mamoru is in his mid thirties and sports a short beard streaked with white. He wears a torn cape marked with the symbol of the Seishin clan, and carries a strange weapon that appears to be a crossbow with five firing slots loaded with shuriken. At his side he carries several round magazines for reloading his strange weapon.

Targetted Shot: Deals 15 damage to one enemy and reduces ranged and melee damage dealt by that enemy by 10 for one turn. Consumes 1 Shot.
Cost:
CD: 1
Class: Ranged, Instant

Full Volley: Deals 10 damage for every Shot Mamoru has to one enemy. Consumes all remaining Shots and stuns all Tactic skills on Mamoru for 1 turn.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Ranged, Instant

Reload: Gives Mamoru 5 Shots (to a maximum of 5) and puts Full Volley on a 2 turn cooldown.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Tactic, Aura

Opportunistic Reload: Gives Mamoru 1 Shot (up to a maximum of 5) and makes Mamoru invulnerable for 1 turn.
Cost:
CD: 4
Class: Tactic, Instant

So, gonna fix layout a little with those energies, also when I get around to writing him I'll put in the second form of Akumu (Yes, he has a second form) but feel free to comment on what's up there now. I'm 100% certain there is balance issues there, so go to town. Also comment on concept and such, that's important too...

Akuma Oni is OP lol
If you consider toge + Jyouzu and WoO Oni's Demonic Rand is increased to like 20-25 damage. And this in turn increases the potential deadliness of Demon Cannon.

I'd suggest removing the piercing damage part of Demonic Rand.

Balance wise, I really like Akuma Hanya even though that healing might be OP.

Probably just a bit of something worth pointing out on Akumu.

Mental skills don't have a damage type (Any mental skills that do damage deal affliction damage.), and damage reduction only applies to melee and ranged skills. So, you might want to make Akumu's attacks do affliction damage, since they're effectively affliction with the way damage reduction works right now.

So, on the bus writing stuff for possible filler arc, and I get around to designing these Akuma monks, they're pretty nasty and I like the skillsets I made for them in my boredom, so I figured 'Hey, why not show everyone so they can do the hard work of balancing for me and then I convince the admins to put these characters into the game using my skillset, win for me^^'.

Then I remembered I have to actually convince admins to let me put this filler arc into the game in the first place, and time and effort means that'll take a while, so I may as well get that first stage of balance and so on out of the way, and who knows, could help my case.

So, we have the Akuma Order. They are a group of monks who are basically evil. Their focus is on stealing the spirits of their enemies in one way or another and using that to make themselves more powerful. The plan is that this is basically an entire clan of villians, and that there is only one good guy unlock in this filler arc, and then you unlock two of the bosses and the final bosses are market content. Dunno how that'll work but we'll see.

Ummm... Not sure if that will work, actually, I mean, unlocking bosses requires tokens, so like... the people will do a whole village for a character and then ladder 'til their fingers bleed.
However, I do like the idea of a villain clan. It's original to this game, and a pretty nice one as well.

Also, cheers and such to lucas for enabling me to be lazy and not make energy icons myself.

Yw pal, they're there to be used.

Akuma Order: An ancient order of monks who focus on the consumation of spirits to increase their power, as opposed to the Budou Order calming their own spirit to achieve enlightenment. They, like all other monk orders, have a single Grandmaster and the rest of the order fills various lesser ranks ranging from master down to initiate. Having discovered where it is that monks draw their supernatural powers from, the Akuma have developed techniques that appear more like ninja arts than monk disciplines. The current Grandmaster, Akuma Kiga, has heard rumours of a gate to the Spirit World existing in the nearby Seishin ruins, and is prepared to go to any length to see its power be his.

Okay, first of all, the idea of soul-stealing itself is amazing *-*, even if it has been abused by many, many other authors.
And having a budou order turn evil is one thing you don't see all the time, so this idea is great!
About the Seishin part... well, I think it's something interesting, and honestly something that catches ones attention.

Akuma Oni (90HP Assassination):
Oni is a tall, dark eyed man in his mid twenties who has shaved his head bald in placed metal studs over his scalp. Dressed in the black and red torn robes of his order and with his nails sharpened into claws, Oni is a ferocious demon on the battlefield few willingly cross.

Demon Rend: Deals 10 piercing damage to one enemy.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Melee, Instant

Demon Roar: Stuns one enemy. The following turn, Demon Rend deals 20 damage and melee damage targetting Oni is increased by 10.
Cost:
CD: 2
Class: Mental, Aura

Demon Cannon: Deals* (typo) 10 piercing damage and removes all Stolen Essence charges on Oni.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Mental, Instant

Stolen Essence: Every 10 damage Oni deals in one turn generates 1 Stolen Essence charge. Every 10 damage Oni receives in one turn generates 1 Stolen Essence charge. Stolen Essence charges increase the damage of Demon Cannon by 10.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Passive, Aura

I can't really judge appearance and story, I just quoted it to telll you the colours of the clothes are a great choice!
And no, I do not like the name .-.
So, I'll just go into balance:
Demon Rend is balanced, I guess, though it's like an refined version of Tanto, so it lacks originality.
Demon Roar is a tad confusing to the reader. Reword it like this: "Oni stuns one enemy for 1 turn. The following turn, Demon Rend deals 20 melee damage instead. During this time, melee damage dealt to Oni is increased by 10." The skill itself is balanced, but as I said before, lacks originality.
Demon Cannon is fine. Just a charges releaser.
Now, passive. You could add the description of the passive to "Demon Cannon" to give this guy a basic invul. skill, considering he has low HP. It'd be something like:
"Deals 10 piercing damage and removes all Stolen Essence charges on Oni. Every 10 damage Oni deals in one turn generates 1 Stolen Essence charge. Every 10 damage Oni receives in one turn generates 1 Stolen Essence charge. Stolen Essence charges increase the damage of this skill by 10.
I suggest you do that, because this guy is weak to stuns and fast melee spikers, so he needs an invul.

Also, EVERY skill should say the damage it deals in the description, AND in the classes.
I.E: Asami deals 25 ranged damage to one enemy. Classes: Ranged, Instant.
This is just to avoid confusions.

Akuma Hannya (HP 80 Disruption): Slender, blonde haired and pale skinned, wearing less damaged robes than her master, Hannya is recently turned 18 and desperate for the power to make her up in the Order. While she has yet to learn many of the more devastating powers, she focuses instead on stealing the essence from her foes and taking their advantages from them when they least expect it.

Siphoning Blow: Deals 15 damage and the target is affected by Sirene's Call for 4 turns.
Cost:
CD: 0
Classes: Melee, Aura

Extracting Strike: Deals 10 affliction damage to all enemies affected by Sirene's Call. Healing caused by Siren's Call is increased by 15 for 2 turns.
Cost:
CD: 2
Class: Tactic, Aura

Traitorous Gift: Heals all enemies by 10, and grants 1 Agility energy for each enemy healed affected by Sirene's Call.
Cost:
CD: 3
Classes: Tactic, Instant

Sirene's Call: When an enemy affected by Sirene's Call is healed, Hannya is healed for the same amount. This effect cannot take place if Hannya is stunned.
Cost:
CD: 0
Classes: Passive, Aura

Hmm, I like her design, though she looks a little bit like Yugana in some ways. Make the first skill piercing and we're good IMO.

Akuma Akumu (HP 150 Assassination): Akumu is the current Grandmaster of the Akuma and the strongest that has ever lived. While growing into his late fifties, he has sustained his body through the consumption of the spirits of the dead, allowing him to remain strong and healthy despite the scars that show wounds that should have been fatal. His skin is dark and painted with scars, and his eyes have long since lost colour and are now dead white. Of his Akuma robes, none remains but the lower half of his outfit, the upper half having been lost in battle decades ago.

Savage Cannon: Deals 20 damage to one enemy.
Cost:
CD: 2
Class: Mental, Instant

Brutal Volley: Deals 15 damage to all enemies and stuns them for 1 turn.
Cost:
CD: 4
Class: Mental, Channeling

Corpse Touch: Deals 35 damage to one enemy and heals Akumu for 35 health.
Cost:
CD: 5
Class: Melee, Instant

Eternal Hunger: Akuma gains 1 Eternal Hunger charge and 1 Intelligence energy when a character is killed. Akuma gains 1 Eternal Hunger charge and 1 Intelligence energy when Akuma kills an enemy. Each Eternal Hunger charge increases mental dealt by Akuma by 5 and reduces his cooldowns by 1. Every 2 charges reduced damage dealt to Akuma by 10.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Passive, Aura

Okay, we have a problem here.
First of all, 150 hp is too much, even for a character like this. Give him 130, if anything. I shall tell you, as I already mentioned in Oni, EVERY skill should say the damage it deals in the description. And no, there is absolutely no "mental" damage.
That stun is OP and you have no idea how much. Imagine PoI+WoR+Yuzuki. Oh yeah, you see it now don't you?
Corpse Touch is fine, I guess.

Your passive was full of typos. Here:
Akuma gains 1 Eternal Hunger charge and 1 Intelligence energy when a character is killed. Akuma gains 1 Eternal Hunger charge and 1 Intelligence energy when he kills an enemy. Each Eternal Hunger charge increases damage dealt by Akuma by 5 and reduces his cooldowns by 1 permanently. Every 2 charges melee and ranged damage dealt to Akuma is reduced by 10".

NERF THIS BASTARD.

Warlord Mamoru (HP: 100 Assassination): Dressed in what remains his old Shogun Military outfit, though it has been worn by age and lack of repairs considerably, Mamoru is in his mid thirties and sports a short beard streaked with white. He wears a torn cape marked with the symbol of the Seishin clan, and carries a strange weapon that appears to be a crossbow with five firing slots loading with shuriken. At his side he carries several round magazines for reloading his strange weapon.

Targetted Shot: Deals 15 damage to one enemy and reduces ranged and melee damage dealt by that enemy by 10 for one turn. Consumes 1 Shot.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Ranged, Instant

Full Volley: Deals 10 damage for every Shot Mamoru has to one enemy. Consumes all remaining Shots and stuns all Tactic skills on Mamoru for 1 turn.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Ranged, Instant

Reload: Gives Mamoru 5 Shots (to a maximum of 5) and puts Full Volley on a 2 turn cooldown.
Cost:
CD: 0
Class: Tactic, Aura

Opportunistic Reload: Gives Mamoru 1 Shot (up to a maximum of 5) and makes Mamoru invulnerable for 1 turn.
Cost:
CD: 4
Class: Tactic, Instant

Ummm... You didn't read my guide, did you? First mental damage and now 15 dmg for no cost, no cooldown... Knighty... c'mon.

Targgeted Shot should cost a random, and it'd be... acceptable.
Full Volley is nice.
Reload skills are nice too.

Some final remarks
The concept of these monks is indeed incredible story-wise, but skill-wise, I only liked the healer. Seriously.
You need to put more effort into these. Counters, DR, PR, all those help when making a char. Be more original and your chars will have more chances of succedding.
INCLUDE A VI. Like seriously.

IF you really feel like you want to do the best appealing topic ever, you can use the official WoN template I created:
Guided-Clean for editing

I think that's all so far. Will check later when you add new stuff.

So, gonna fix layout a little with those energies, also when I get around to writing him I'll put in the second form of Akumu (Yes, he has a second form) but feel free to comment on what's up there now. I'm 100% certain there is balance issues there, so go to town. Also comment on concept and such, that's important too...

Sorry, but, I don't think any character in this game should have a 'second form' unless it's an entirely different character. I think 'second forms' are a stupid idea and I don't want to see a million Rock Lee characters in this game. Or like how for some reason everyone on S-A likes to give 6 skills to their characters.


Moving right along then...


Oni: Overall, I like the concept of his character. He is strictly damage, but in a unique way. The only problem I have with him is the following...

Demon Rend: At first, I had no problem with this skill. It wasn't until that I read this, Stolen Essence, And Demon Cannon. This skill combined with say WoO and Jyouzu will pretty much make this one of the strongest characters in this game. The problem is, I'm not fairly sure how to balance this, if it can be balanced at all. All I know, is that it's OP, and it needs fixing.

Aside from 3/4 of his skills being OP, his concept and direction is on the right path, you simply need to mess with the numbers a bit so that you can fix him.


The female member of your clan is balanced, in my opinion. If anything, she might be slightly underpowered, but I find her concept, design, and overall playstyle revolutionary.



Akumu: I'm sorry, but I'm going to be blunt. 150 HP on any character is a big fat 'no.' No character in this game should have more than 130 HP, in my opinion. ESPECIALLY on a character that can heal himself. The entire problem with this character is his passive. I'm really sick and tired of seeing people giving REALLY STRONG CHARACTERS a way to BYPASS THEIR WEAKNESSES. He was all good and balanced (Except for his HP) before I saw his passive.

As far as concept and designs go, I, once again, enjoy it very much. I enjoy big tanky guys, but not when they can easily turn into a giant fucking truck that rams through your entire team.

Savage Cannon: With a cool down like that (ASSUMING YOU REWORK HIS RIDICULOUS PASSIVE), you can change the cost to a random instead.

Brutal Volley: Even without that passive, this skill is OP. You need to either up the cooldown, or up the cost, either way works.

Corpse Touch: Again, assuming you rework the passive, this skill could easily drop in a one turn cooldown.

Okay, but seriously, please rework that passive and lower that ridiculous HP. Also, as a side note, all mental damage is affliction damage.





Also, as for your warlord, I'm sorry to say, but he is absolutely broken. I didn't need to read anything except for reload and targeted shot. Why on earth would I bother with Full Volley when I can do 15 damage for free, for 5 turns, WITH DAMAGE REDUCTION, WITH THE ADDED EFFECTS OF WOO. Oh, not to mention the skill has no cooldown.


Overall, I really like the concepts and ideas, and I hate to be blunt, but your sense of balance is...horrible. Mess around with the numbers a bit, put yourself in your enemies shoes and see how fair it seems on your side. Make sure to consider item and character combinations when you balance characters as well.



P.S: Please don't use Lucas' template thing. It looks ugly with no pictures, and it looks even more ugly when people re-use pictures of other characters. This format is perfectly acceptable and looks the best.

akumu is so OP and his HP, even more.

Oni

demon rend:
make it grant one charge and 2 after demon roar, because every 10 damage can be abused with WoO, megami, jyouzu, toge, sainan and possibly newer characters.

demon cannon:
if he is still OP make it deal 0 initial damage.

Hannya

siphoning blow:
make it cost a ramdom or make it last forever.

Akumu

150 hp 0.o make it 100, also I'm assuming that mental skills only deal affliction damage.

savage cannon:
make it 1 cd.

brutal volley:
make it stun only tactis or/and mental skills, maybe reduce cd to 2/3.

corpse touch:
assuming it does 35 normal damage and it leech instead of heal, maybe make it 2/3 cd.

eternal hunger:
little rework - Akuma gains 1 Eternal Hunger charge and 1 Intelligence energy when Akuma kills an enemy. Each Eternal Hunger charge increases affliction damage dealt by Akuma. Each charge reduces damage dealt to Akuma by 5.

Mamoru

targetted shot:
15 damage for no cost is a lot, now with no cooldown and 10 damage reduction is broken. make it cost a random and/or have one cooldown.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I really liked what u did with Hannya and Mamoru skills, btw don't forget to make a clan item too ^^.

Right, did some changes, will probably do more depending on what people think, and might mess around with some skills, see if I can't do some crazy stuff or something I don't know.

Also, the second form of Akumu is meant to be a separate character, the way I have it planned out you fight him twice, once as himself and then again as his corpse mind-raped, possessed and super powered and all.

Oni is more balanced, good work. I know it doesn't seem like much, but dropping the piercing really does it make it much more balanced.



I see you don't plan on reworking that ridiculous passive, so allow me to offer a better solution. Every 2 charges, his cooldowns are decreased by 1, and every 3 charges reduces melee and ranged damage dealt to him by 10.


Unfortunately, your warlord is still not balanced. I'm still solely looking at reload and targeted shot. 15 damage + damage reduction off of a single random is still a huge no. Lucky for you, there are easy ways to fix this.

1.) Drop the damage to 10, and keep the damage reduction at 10.
2.) Keep the damage at 15 and lower the damage reduction to 5.
3.) Give the skill a cool down of 1.


Overall, you're slowly getting there. I'd still like to see Akumu's passive reworked. I'm also glad to hear it's a separate character and not a built in 'alternate skillset' to regular Akumu.

I removed Akumu's ability to gain a second charge, which means at most he can have 4 charges in a 1v1. So if it's 3v1 (either way) or 2v2, he'll have a 30 damage 1 int cost no cd move, his other two skills would have 3 turn cooldowns, his aoe would deal 25 damage and he'd have 10DR. I'm struggling to see how that's unbalanced, but balance isn't my strong point I suppose.

Gave targetted shot a cooldown too.

Very interesting. I like it very much. I see no issues with the balancing of any of them. 10/10

I do hope they become a clan ingame.