Topic: Tanas [writing division]

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  Posted on March 29, 2014 at 10:14 PM
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#1
teonaruto, The Respected Defender of Ninja Arts

Contribution: 508 (428 + 80)
Joined: February 26, 2010
It was just me. A normal guy, with a normal life, who has the wish of committing suicide. A wish that it gets bigger and bigger with everyday because my life is getting worse and worse with each day that it passes… People even stopped using my name. Family problems, problems with my friends… Only problems very well hidden by some smiles. But they don’t matter now…

One day, I was walking to home. As I usually do, I am choosing the longest way to the home, only for not reaching there. I suddenly hear from the right sight a voice:

‘Hey! Kid! Over here!’

At first, I wanted to ignore that stranger. But I felt that if I don’t do it, something good will happen to me. I went straight to him.

‘Hello! You don’t know me, I don’t know you. But I feel your pain, your very hidden suicide wish’ he told to me.

‘How do you know…?’ I asked him

‘I have a special gift. I can feel the negative emotion. I also have a solution for your problem’

‘But I don’t want to die… I mean…’

‘I know. This is a paradox almost always met at humans. You want to don’t live anymore, but you don’t want to kill yourself or be killed’
I was shocked. This was actually a real truth that I felt it like it was in my heart all of my life.

‘I can help you doing that. You’re gonna be fine, I promise. Just follow me’

And I followed him. He leaded me to his apartment, where it was a special ‘thing’ that is looking like a pod.

‘This is the pod of the perfect life.’ Told me the man that I found out his is called Tanas. ‘You simply enter here, and you will have everything you ever wanted. Are you sure you want to do it? Once you enter, you can’t get out’

I stopped, I thinked at this opportunity for 20 seconds, then I entered in the pod, closing my eyes. After 10 seconds, I opened them and left the Pod.

‘Welcome to the new world!’ told Tanas to me. ‘The only way to don’t live without dying is staying in coma. This is what I did to you. You will not leave anymore in that evil world. Listen to me. At the first sight, it looks like it’s your old-fashioned life. Just go and explore!’

After I left the building, it had suddenly disappeared. I was a little scared, but I ignored everything. When I arrived at home, I started to feel the differences. In one week, I realized that my room was decorated by the way I wanted and nobody knew it, my parents started to believe in me instead of telling me I am an idiot and I will become a Janitor, everyone I know actually loves me for who am I instead of hating me for the “Mask” that people thinks it’s actually the real me, everything I wanted had become reality. It was the reality I wanted.

But it was all too easy… Too @!*?*$% easy… I started getting scared. Everything I would wish would become reality. I even wished to kill somebody without being accused by the police and that happened. Being afraid, I hopelessly yelled:

‘TANAS!’

He suddenly appeared:

‘Yes kid, what happened?’

‘What is this place more exactly?’

‘What? You still didn’t get it? This is the Hell, little boy!’

I was amazed. How could it be true? The hell isn’t looking like that…
‘I know that you don’t want to believe this. But this is the truth’ told Tanas to me. ‘Let me demonstrate you this: Change the T with the N from my name, then read it backwards. This is actually my real name’

‘Well… It means that you are... No! NO, NOT YOU! NO! NO! NO! NO!’
‘Yes kid. I am Satan. And this is the hell. You simply sold your soul to me. Do you know what’s funny? That I asked you twice if you are sure about your decision.’

‘What happened to my body?’ I asked him

‘It’s still in the pod, still in coma. When you will fully die, your soul will be mine forever. But because I like you, I give you the chance of escaping. I will never tell you how to do it. Good luck. You have only 10 minutes’.

Desperate, I thought that the world will turn in how the Bible relates about the hell. But it didn’t. Because it didn’t, I started becoming very scared. Scared of the real unknown of my fate. I started to prey for 2 minutes. Nothing happened.

8 minutes left. I tried to wake up using my power of obtaining what I want. I told to myself: “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!” Nothing happened.

4 Minutes left. I actually wanted to kill myself. Something that it was impossible in my world because I wanted to be unable to die. Then, I had the idea to snap my neck. And I did it. But nothing happened. Now, I was completely paralyzed, waiting my fate.

30 seconds left. I feel that I disappear and reappear. I feel that I am in control to my real body.

10 seconds left. I almost felt again the real world. But it was still something that held me in that Hell.

5 seconds left. I realized it was my chance of getting awake. Even if I was paralyzed, I actually defeated my condition, and got up from the ground, being ready to the last disappearance. In that moment, I woke up, feeling in full control of my body.

I have woken up in the hospital. I found out I was in coma for 20 days and in the day I made the deal with Tanas was actually the day when a van hit me. All the scene that happened after the van hit me was made by the subconscious, ignoring the crash and recalling an old memory.

My parents were standing near me, along with my friends. It was the happiest day for all of us we ever had.
After this experience, I realized that everything is not as it seems. That under the everyday insults there is the everyday love that I can find it only when I want. Even if I sometimes wish to don’t live anymore, I remember for who I am alive and go on.
Tobi wrote:

The moment people come to know love, they run the risk of carrying hate

...............................................
The wrote:

Nothing is true, everything is permitted

Ezio wrote:

To say that nothing is true, is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say that everything is permitted, is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic

War of Ninja- Less players, big family
  Posted on March 30, 2014 at 10:45 AM
#2
immortalman, The Untouchable Pacifist of the Kage

Contribution: 137 (111 + 26)
Joined: February 5, 2012
WOOOOW!! This thing is %!?$@#* awesome. One of the best stories I have ever read based on a simple concept. I really thought it would end at the perfect reality part just like a normal story would.

Great Job!!! MAKE MOAR!!!
  Posted on March 30, 2014 at 3:41 PM
#3
teonaruto, The Respected Defender of Ninja Arts

Contribution: 508 (428 + 80)
Joined: February 26, 2010
immortalman wrote:

WOOOOW!! This thing is %!?$@#* awesome. One of the best stories I have ever read based on a simple concept. I really thought it would end at the perfect reality part just like a normal story would.

Great Job!!! MAKE MOAR!!!


Wow... Thank you! But here's a little thing about me: I only write when I feel inspired
Tobi wrote:

The moment people come to know love, they run the risk of carrying hate

...............................................
The wrote:

Nothing is true, everything is permitted

Ezio wrote:

To say that nothing is true, is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say that everything is permitted, is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic

War of Ninja- Less players, big family