Currently, I am creating a clan, and wrote the clan's story background down, and the character background of the three characters of this clan
I'd wish to hear some constructive comments...



The Shikketsu clan has the fearsome ability to control and manipulate blood and they all have blood red eyes.
The other clans feared the Shikketsu and casted them out, forcing them into isolation.
But despite that, the Shikketsu stayed strong, and prospered within their isolation into a big clan.
But the Shikketsu are distrustful towards outsiders – the only thing the other clans’ did expect shunning them, was to ask them for help in times of war.
The Shikketsu have been used and have grown cold-hearted towards outsiders.


The Shikketsu have a different system compared to other clans – they do not have a Daimyo, but live within a monarchy.
They had queen named Satsuriku – until 2 weeks ago. The queen was killed, seemingly by an outside. No wounds were inflicted, but she had a horrified look on her face.
If the queen dies, a new leader of royal blood is needed. Her only daughter, Mayoi Shikketsu, was coroneted to the new queen – and that at the fragile age of 17.
Distress has taken it’s place within the Shikketsu, and many doubt the new queen – and that at a time, where unity is needed, because a terrible foe awaits them…

The clans system: At the top of the clan is the royalty – meaning the respective queen. She is the highest in command, but is accompanied with the council of the Shikketsu. The council members are respective leaders of different structures within the clan, and exist to advice the queen and to carry out executive orders.


Shinrei Shikketsu: Appearance: A thin, lanky figure, he wears a bright red kimono with a black pattern on it. He has quite short, dark hair with red streaks, but has shoulder long hair at the back of his head, which he wears as a braided tress.

Background information: Shinrei is the leader of the clans’ doctors. He is a respected person within the village due to his dedication to his work, but is also one of the more open, nicer persons of the clan. He is very kind-hearted and likes to joke around much, but he has a sense for people and gets very serious if a situation seems dangerous. As the leader of the medical department, he also is a member of the council.

Fighting Style: Shinrei uses his medical skills to inject his own blood into allies/enemies and manipulate their blood. He can harden an allies’ blood to increase their offensive and defensive abilities or can manipulate it to heal wounds faster. For offence, he uses his blood to form needles, attacking the enemy and injecting his blood into them, manipulating it to work against them.

Appearance: Shinya is a tall and slim man, with long, straight, blood-red hair which he wears open. He wears light clothing: a Hakama with a dark red colour, nearly looking black, a black Gi and waving Haori, which is coloured blood-red on the inner side and black on the outer.
He also always has his sword, Shinya no Chi, at the left side of his hip. Shinya no Chi is a Yamato-like sword with a blood red blade and black scabbard, designed for Battojutsu.

Background information: Shinya is the military and diplomatic leader of the clan, second in command to the royalty. He is a cold, distrustful and thoughtful person, dedicated to his village and the queen. He also has a special attachment to the late queen Satsuriku and her daughter, Mayoi. Satsuriku took him in when he was 7 years old – his parents died in one of the wars with the other clans and he has become an orphan. At heart, he is a kind, caring person, but this side is probably only known by dead people and Mayoi, whom he sees as a little sister. In combat, Shinya is cold as ice and has a cruel, torturing vein.

Fighting Style: Shinya is a master of the Battojutsu, allowing him to execute incredibly fast quick draws, defying all defences. Shinya no Chi allows him to draw in his enemy’s blood and store it in it’s scabbard, which he then can use for mighty blood manipulation skills. He has no fear of pain and may even cut himself to fight on.


Appearance: Mayoi is a little, fragile looking girl, having long blood-red hair, with shining white streaks. She has straight hair, the white streaks are pinned up and I have a describing fail -.-“.
She wears a traditional Geisha clothing, coloured in blood-red and black tones, with a white rose-pattern on it. She has pale, nearly white skin, and has dark-red, nearly black looking, make-up around her eyes and wears bright red lipstick.

Background information: Mayoi has been coroneted at the age of 17 and is now the Shikketsu’s new queen. This new life as a queen overstrains her; she doesn’t have as much insight into such things as she’d wished she have. She works hard to uphold her mother’s good reputation, but all this distress within the clan finds it’s source at the death of her mother and at the new, 17 years old queen – Mayoi.
The only person Mayoi can get comforted by is the one she views as her older brother: Shinya. Shinya is the military and diplomatic leader of the clan, which already proves the influence he has, and he helps her as much as he can. But all these happenings, one after another make her go mad: her mother’s death, the clan’s distress and of course: the one who assassinated her mother. Who is this person, and why did this have to happen? Such questions torture her mind every day…

Personality: Mayoi is a very fragile person. She is very kind and warm-hearted and always wants to help everyone and holds her mother and her adoptive brother very high. Since she can think, she suffers from schizophrenia, always having a certain voice in her head. This voice represents her aggression and self-esteem, two traits which her “normal” personality completely lacks. But this voice is very extreme, wanting to force her to do, what it sees as right. This voice is also very cruel, and it’s existence tortures Mayoi. She learnt to control this voice till now, but all this stress and all these bad happenings strain her mind, making her collapse soon.

Fighting Style: With the mental disease comes a strong ability: her blood is able to induce fear and madness, and causes hallucinations. If she is sane, she is able to use her “dark side” to disrupt and torture her enemies’ minds. For offence, she disrupts enemies’ with her mad blood and then traps then into an Iron Maiden made of out of her blood. Her abilities are extraordinary, even within her own clan, but she is still a fragile little girl.



Shikketsu: Blood loss
Shinrei: Soul/Mind/Psyche
Shinya: Midnight
Hakama: traditional Japanese pants
Gi: The top worn together with a Hakama
Haori: Kind of a coat
Shinya no Chi: Midnight’s Blood
Battojutsu: Also called “Iaido” – a sword style teaching techniques which revolve around the quick draw of a sword
Mayoi: Doubt/Illusion/Madness
Satsuriku: Blood bath/ Massacre

Seems like you put a lot of effort in this. Their abilities are interesting and I would like to see them in-game. I don't like that most of the clans are ''isolated from others'' and stuff like that, but good work!

I like this,it would be great to play with them :D
Thumb UP

thanks for the comments ^^
so, please some more comments, I'd like to know how to improve this little story

Omg :3
Can I illustrate those characters for you?
I am bored and it seems like good time investment. xD

Omg :3
Can I illustrate those characters for you?
I am bored and it seems like good time investment. xD

ooooh I'd be soooooooooo very pleased :3
I cannot draw or anything like that myself, but I have a good imagination haha

and I really like this clan I created :3 so having someone illustrate them would be like omg ftw awesome xD

(...)
ooooh I'd be soooooooooo very pleased :3
I cannot draw or anything like that myself, but I have a good imagination haha

and I really like this clan I created :3 so having someone illustrate them would be like omg ftw awesome xD

Oh lolz It will be a good practice for me :P
I'll just pm you with some questions ne x3
it would be spam here

(...)

Oh lolz It will be a good practice for me :P
I'll just pm you with some questions ne x3
it would be spam here

hehe, I'll be looking forward to the illustrations :3 but I hope you don't mind me being a bit picky at times xD

Kabuto__Yakushi this is the best clan ive seen yet , hope it gets put in-game! keep it as it is, love to see some images for the clan too.

The idea of a Queen sounds particularly interesting... If this clan ever made it into game I would hope the differences between how a Queen and a Daimyo acts could be brought out...

Good work and stuff bro... I want to see those illustrations.

I can only say: great :)

The idea of a Queen sounds particularly interesting... If this clan ever made it into game I would hope the differences between how a Queen and a Daimyo acts could be brought out...

Good work and stuff bro... I want to see those illustrations.

That would truly be interesting
I guess I could actualy write the on-going plot down, but that would be much work - but if I am lucky, this clan gets put into the game

@all the others: thanks for all the nice comments, i appreciate that :D

I <3 this idea for a clan! Its got my vote!

needs some slight tweaks but over all it's a good idea, thumbed

needs some slight tweaks but over all it's a good idea, thumbed

nice, thankies :3

some tweaks you said? well, be a little more specefic.. little mistakes are found within every story, especially if it is relatively much text to write down after all ^^"